Here's the Prologue:
Just a little, innocent girl who
loved to play with her dolls and create stories in her head. That's
all she was. The little seven year old girl in second grade who was
friends with everyone. The teachers loved her imagination and
intelligence. Life was happy and joyous for everyone that met her; My
Little Ray of Sunshine, her father would call her. Her life was
shielded and safe; the pains of the real world were unknown to her.
Until now.
“I can't live with this Sandra!
I work all day, there's bills to pay and the baby....how are we
suppose to keep paying for your therapy?”
“Mark....please! Give it a
chance....give me a chance.”
“Eight years! Eight years I've
been giving you a chance! How are you suppose to blame me for wanting
to relax?”
“Relax? Mark....” Sandra hardly
believed his year long affair with his dim witted coworker was
relaxation.
“A new baby was suppose to help!
This wasn't suppose to happen! It's been four months and still...”
“Mark, it isn't my fault!” She
blubbered, holding back the tears.
“No, Sandy, it was.” He walked
off, slamming the front door in her face. They both loved their
child; that was the one thing holding them together, yet even that
wasn't enough.
“Mommy, where's Daddy going?”
She innocently asked, witnessing the fight from the safety of her
cracked bedroom door.
“Daddy's...Daddy's leaving....”
She burst into tears.
“Leaving?” She was confused.
Daddy left for work every morning, but today wasn't every morning. It
was Saturday. He was suppose to take her and her mother out to the
park so they could go roller skating and lick ice cream from the
cones as it dripped down their hands, while watching the annual
Fourth of July firework display burst into vibrant color as everyone
oohed and ahhed. “Is he working?”
“No, honey...he's
going...forever.”
“Forever?” Her teacher told her
that forever was a long time. You waited in line at the amusement
park forever, but people didn't leave forever. Did they?
The rumble of an old car's motor
sent tears flowing down her mother's face. The little child rushed to
the window.
She watched as her father's car
pulled out of the driveway and zipped away from the house. He didn't
even turn to wave goodbye. He just left.
“Daddy...don't go.” She
whispered. “I promise to eat my vegetables and I won't ask for that
new doll, and I won't complain when you tell me to clean up my room!
Just...” The car turned the corner. She finally understood. Forever
wasn't something with rides at the end. It was pain and misery. It
wasn't just happiness and bliss; pain, suffering, the world was full
to the brim with unhappiness, and few people ever found the special
moment; that one true love. Daddy wasn't leaving to go to work, he
wasn't going to bring candy or a teddy bear when he cam home, because
he wasn't coming home.
Through the tears her mother cried,
she felt one thing. Confusion. What did this mean? Tommy's parents
had gotten a divorce. Her teacher explained that a divorce was when
two parents love each other very much, but they sometimes fight.
They decide that they both need a little time out from one another.
That's why they all needed to be extra nice to Tommy, and make sure
to share the crayons with him. Mommy and Daddy weren't getting a
divorce, were they? Did divorces exist, or did you only read about
them, like unicorns and fairies?
“Mommy, is Daddy getting a time
out?” When she yelled, she got a time out. Was he? Wasn't that what
her teacher said a divorce was?
“Sweetie...he...he,” she
sniffled. “Daddy's time out is going to be....he....we won't be
seeing him, okay?”
“Okay.” She considered what her
Mommy meant. Daddy was going to come back, when he learned not to
yell. “Will he be back, when he learns not to yell?”
“No...we...we'll never see him,
again.”
“A divorce?” Was that what a
divorce was? Never seeing each other again?
“Not...not exactly....” Sandra
would stay legally married to him for the rest of her life. She'd
never trust another man enough to ever have a reason to get a
divorce. She'd lost hope in love; a lesson she could only regrettably
teach to her daughter; it was impossible avoid. “Daddy's....gone.”
“Gone?”
“It'll be Mommy and you time.
That's always fun.” She tried to sound cheerful for the sake of her
daughter. Her daughter didn't need to have to deal with tragedies;
she was a simple minded seven year old. Wasn't she?
“I guess.” She shrugged, putting
a smile on her face, because her mother seemed so bleak and dreary.
“I love you.” Her mother
whispered. As she hugged her, tightly, protectively.
“I love you, too, Mommy.”
“Now, go play.” Her mother
smiled as her bouncy child rushed off to finished her game of
pretend.
What was she to do? A single,
unemployed mother who had a growing seven year old to care for. She
had to put aside her pains and take care of the only light in the
dark tunnel of her life. Him leaving...it wasn't her fault, was it?
Her therapy would be too expensive now, she'd have to cope on her
own....her own. The meaning hit her. A lonely girl in high school,
and throughout life, who'd only met Mark by the pure luck that the
jock was failing college and needed the nerd to stay on the sports
team. All their friends were Mark's friends, who excepted his quiet
wife. She had no real friends. If Mark left, so did they.
The girl's life was losing the
sheltered, perfect way day by day. She'd age, every year her clothes
getting a little tighter, her toys becoming more worn, and money
tighter. She learned to not ask for anything new and ignore her
feelings. Her mother was giving up everything for her and she had to
thank her someway; by earning A's and the highest praises in school.
Maybe then, Daddy would come home.
dorable stray puppy, who I could have sworn was a big mouse or kitty, was napping on our porch.
